My thoughts on pet loss

Life is a funny thing. We go through our days, which for the most part are predictable. Wake up, feed the pets, coffee, work, come home and feed the pets, dinner, t.v., then bed. And we love routine, our pets love routine. We like to know what to expect so we can plan and act accordingly.

When something shakes our little world of routines, it can really affect us.

As part of my job as a veterinary technician I am faced with pet loss and grief on a daily basis. Helping pet owners with the "final act of kindness" for their beloved furbaby is a strangely wonderful, horrible way to end my day. People often ask me how I handle it. I really don't know, but I try to balance it in my mind and heart. Knowing it's the right thing even though it hurts. I've also been the pet owner losing my own pets several times in my life. Each one unique and having a different affect on me.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that pets don't live as long as we do. Death is a hard truth; making the decision to end a pet's suffering can be so very difficult. Knowing the end is coming is an odd balance of acceptance and pre-grief. Every day having the possibility of that day being the last for your pet can wear on you and your heart breaks a little bit each time you look at them. But in the end we do it because we love them so much and don't want them to hurt anymore.

Unexpected death is just as hard, but in a different way. With humane euthanasia, the family knows the end is coming. They usually have time to prepare themselves and plan for what comes next. Sudden pet loss shakes us. We aren't prepared, we are overwhelmed with a whirlwind of mixed emotions ranging from shock and disbelief to anger and heartbreak. Our routine is thrown off. The animal that gave us such pleasure and love is ripped away from us. It leaves a a stinging hole in your heart. That pet that was a part of your daily routine is suddenly gone and your routine is blown apart. There was no preparation, no plans for what comes next. And know that if there are pets left in the household, it can affect them as well.

We go through the same stages of grief as we do for humans:

Shock and denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

The amount of time spent in each of these stages can vary from person to person and that is perfectly normal. For instance, if your pet's death was unexpected, you may spend more time in the denial and anger phases.

There are things you can do to help the grief process:

Talk to someone-a friend or a professional

Make a shrine

Write a letter to your pet

Have a memorial service

Have a clay paw print made

Make a photo collage

Keep a bit of fur

Let yourself ugly cry

Whether our pet loss is planned or unexpected, we hurt no matter what. Our normal lives are disrupted and it can leave us in a bad way. Just know that your experience is your own and nobody can tell you how to feel or when to feel it!

Wags and kisses!